TNT Travels

We envisaged a really old run down city with buses kicking out thick black plumes of smoke that would make you choke. We were totally wrong. Like you could find in any European city, there are lovely areas with parks and squares, more commercial high rise areas and some dodgy areas with long, busy main roads. On these roads you can find small stores that sell either electrical stuff, fast food, phone accessories and there are more sex shops than in Amsterdam. Weirdly, in some of the more affluent areas, there are British style homes. Apparently they were inspired by Victorian and Tudor periods to celebrate European colonialism through wealth.

Like all the other smaller cities and towns we have visited in Columbia, hardly any English is spoken. However, not a problem for us, now El Tel is fluent in the lingo.

There are 2 areas popular with tourists but they are at opposite ends of the city. We stayed nearer the one in the north called Parque 93 but only 20-30 mins and £6 in a taxi to get to other area. Taxis and buses are the main way around.

Unlike Medellin, there is no underground metro. I discovered that after spending about 20mins trying to find the nearest metro station. I had found the underground map pretty quickly but it took me a lot longer to find the article announcing the grand opening in 2028

There are some interesting pastimes that we saw. Most dangerous appeared to be the one that involves zooming down a pretty vertical street on a skateboard and 2 of your mates grabbing you at the bottom to stop you careering onto the main road that runs across it.

There is a big police and security presence. Their presence was more reassuring than intimidating. The security people tended to have service dogs which appeared to mainly loll about.

Survival of the fittest

So far I’m winning ‘who’s got most use out of the 1st kit’; anti itch cream for mozzy bites, Imodium and hydration satchets. Terry has used the mini Swiss Army knife to cut the tag off his t-shirt! I think the photo speaks for itself.

Usaquen market

A 2 mile walk from parque 93 is a charming flea market. It’s not a picturesque walk, just a pavement next to busy main roads but I wanted to get some steps in and Eel Tel jumped (keeping on the flea theme) at the opportunity to walk 2 miles in the heat! We have averaged 50km per week so far.

The market was pretty impressive. Loads of unique stalls selling watches, sun glasses, hammocks, paintings etc. all home made but nothing we can carry around with us for next 5 weeks. The market has approx 200 stalls. It opens every Sunday. The majority of the restaurants and bars around the market come to life after midday.

Botanical Gardens

It was 30 degrees outside and we paid extra to get into the tropical gardens section. I think you can probably deduce that this wasn’t our smartest decision of the week. Basically we were in a giant greenhouse. The path goes round in a cone shape getting higher and higher, like a reverse helter skelter. Not really ideal when heat rises. El Tel turns into the human equivalent of a koi carp starved of oxygen and trying to save itself. He basically sprint walks down the path muscling plants and people out of the way. Guessing he has featured in the background of 10+ selfies. What we didnt realise was that the tropical equivalent of the yellow brick road passed through 5 of these giant glass domes and like IKEA, you have to follow the one way system to get out. We were literally melting.

The botanical gardens were a bit disappointing on the whole. Another occasion where you are lured into thinking everything is going to be dual language but a small percentage is. You even get charged the additional princely sum of 30p for being a gringo. We could have recouped that monumental loss because the lady asked if El Tel was a senior. The immense amount of amusement that gave me was worth 30p of anyone’s money.

On reflection, I think I got spoiled in Singapore’s botanical gardens 12 years ago. We were expecting exotic birds (of the feathered variety) and an abundance of colourful flowers and plants. We totally get that if you live in a city full of high rise buildings that this is an idyllic escape on a Sunday but not sure it’s worth the visit at this point in time. There was also a lot of construction work and dead ends along the paths, hopefully to improve it as a city centre attraction in the future.

Travelling by taxi

After the botanical gardens we got an Uber to another areas of Bogeta. This Uber was a Chevrolet Spark. El Tel made me sit in the front this time. He said it was because there was more room in the back but I think he wanted me to experience the terrifying Adrenalin rush you get from sitting in the front seat. It definitely felt like we had joined the wacky races.

We haven’t mentioned anything much about the driving in Columbia so to summmarise: At red lights, stopping seems desirable but not essential. Zebra crossings aren’t there for pedestrians. Getting in the wrong lanes for turning is a must. My highlight whilst sat in the cockpit of one of the worlds smallest cars was sitting at the traffic lights next to a dog on the front of a moped with goggles own (not driving). I couldn’t get the photo because my window didn’t have a working up/down control so here is something similar.

Chapineiro District

A bit boho, you won’t find all bars and restaurants next to each other but worth some mooching. We stumbled across the Humo Negro restaurant. I hadn’t eaten properly in nearly 48hrs so assume that my take on it could be like a thirsty Arab stumbling across an oasis but we had brilliant food and excellent service. They also had a surprising playlist of British indie music.

El Tel or should I say Miguel as he has taken to calling himself. Apparently my duo lingo learned Spanish is not as easy for the locals to understand as El Tel’s Welsh-Portuguese-Spanish-English dialect. We put this to the test when he said “all you need is a bit of Por favor, La Cuenta etc etc” coupled with some sign language. I wasn’t sure where it was going to go but 5 minutes after ‘Por favor, La cuenta me old cocker’ and we were fully paid up and on our merry way.

Super Sunday

We didn’t know NFL was a thing in Columbia nor did we know I it was the Super Bowl. It explained why loads of the bars were very busy on Sunday night. We ended up in El Irish which was the least looking Irish Bar either of us have ever seen. Got a space to sit down, chill and watch a load of adverts, interspersed with some football. It was all going well until the waitress dropped a tray of drinks right next to me.

Monserrate

Terry had read that there were bars and various things to visit in Monserrate, which stands at 3,152 metres above sea level. Turns out there are a total of 5 buildings there. 2 restaurants, a church, a tram station and a cable car station, a pond with some noisy frogs and some statues.

We booked a table at the Casa San Isidro restaurant. The booking was one of the most painful online booking processes I have ever endured. I spent the best part of 30mins completing the online form due to the website crashing and you had to include your passport details and pay a deposit. The very last thing it asks is for your email address and then denies your payment because you have an email address outside of Columbia. I ended up whatsApping the restaurant and quickly made the reservation. They said they could take payment at the cable car station where you collect your fast track pass, which is all part of the service. I’m sure the end to end process could be simplified especially when there was no-one at the restaurant stand in the metro station.

We paid £15 extra to sit in ‘the exclusive corridor” but not sure I do would bother gain. You get the views when you arrive and the main room is cozy. It could be the lack of atmosphere as there were only 8 people in the restaurant including us.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, we ended up an hour early at the restaurant. It can only be reached by cable car or funicular tram from the outskirts of Bogota. The tram is shut on a Monday so cue a 4 minute onslaught in the cable car on my already very delicate disposition.

We managed to join the cable car with a tour group speaking in English. We learned that the Colombian Flag is yellow, blue and red for the following reasons.

◦ Yellow for treasures, people, fruit, veg, gold etc

◦ Blue for the Pacific, Atlantic and all the rivers

◦ Red for the passion and the blood and pain that has got them there.

Apparently if you think of the whole of the americas as a person. Canada is the halo, US the brain, Central America the neck and Columbia is the heart.

The Gold Museum

I wanted to go to the gold museum but Terry said “don’t go on a Sunday”, he had read that it was free so a nightmare to get round because it was too busy. “Let’s go tomorrow”. What he failed to mention was that it’s shut on a Monday.

On Tuesday, we went to The Gold Museum! It is £1 to get in and shows relics and artefacts in displays covering over 5 floors. Lots of the treasure trove is linked to sacrifices and the burial of rich/important people.

The artefacts and I managed to hold El Tel’s attention span for 3 floors. At the point he started starring in my photos, we left.

In summary

Columbia, you have been done a massive disservice in terms of your reputation. A welcoming country, more music than dance. More colour than a horny peacock. A fantastic food scene and great prices. Outstanding weather and lovely people. Columbia, we salute you!

Next stop, Rio and Copacabana. Where, we are pretty confident that “music and passion won’t be the fashion” when El Tel and I rock up.